Becoming Beautiful You: Becoming Beautiful You,

Sometimes the most intimate and compelling conversations can take place right in the car.

As my 20 year old daughter and I are on our way home, she made this statement, "Mom I have never seen you cry"! I was kind of taken back from her comment, like where is this coming from? I really had to think about that statement and then my mind began to drift back to her stages of childhood. So what was my response to her?

First and foremost mom does and did cry when she needed to. I explained to my daughter that because I am a single mother, I felt I had to be strong for my household. It was important to me that she knew everything was okay even when adversity and struggle showed up on my doorstep.

As my daughter became older, I could not hide the fact there were days when things became really tough. How was this bill going to be paid or what were going to eat for dinner tonight? The last thing I wanted my daughter to conceive in her mind is that mom is falling apart. After all, we were faithful church goers so faith and prayer were the glue that held our household together.

After I explained my viewpoint regarding her statement, there was a time when I intentionally did not want her to see me cry. This was during my journey of healing from breast cancer. She was starting her first year of high school and was an honor roll student. So in my daughter's mind, breast cancer equated to death. I had to be secure in my knowledge of breast cancer and let her know just because mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, that does not mean I was dying. Because I made the decision to live and fight for my survival, I did not want her to see my cry because that meant mommy was losing the battle. I believed, when she saw that I was okay, maybe sometimes sad and not feeling well, she was still okay and mom is going to beat breast cancer.

During this time in my life, I cried when I needed to cry in my private moments. It was my tears that became my prayers and my strength at times. This help me to continue to be strong and be there for her when she needed me. The most awesome part of that journey is when I was okay with letting her take care of mom when I needed it. That journey of healing helped mode my daughter into the strong young woman that she is today!

I would love to hear your thoughts. Do you feel it is okay to cry in front of your children?